Technical Difficulties from on Top of the Mountain
2004-11-12
  A sense of humor in legaleze
Virgin has a pretty good brand in a number of different and interesting markets. Part of it is that they don't take themselves seriously.

Joe Gratz actually read the Virgin Digital end user license agreement, and found many entertaining and interesting bits stuck in there, like:

This software is licensed to you only for the reproduction of music and/or video that you own or have the expressed right to use as the software allows. Any attempt to reproduce copyrighted material that you are not expressly permitted to use is not legal, not good for the economy, and not nice. Furthermore, it is not cool, it is not kosher, nor is it the kind of thing that your parents would be proud of. Put the kibosh on it. Hey, are you reading this thing? I didn’t think so. Nobody ever really does, do they? Except the lawyers who write it. Think about it - you’re a lawyer, making god-knows-how-much and hour, and this is the best you can come up with? Lame.

... If it helps, think of this past paragraph being read aloud by a chorus of small leprechauns. With lisps. And gas. There, that’s better.

“THE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.” What does that mean? Who would use music software to operate a nuclear facility? Did they put that disclaimer in because at one point someone did in fact navigate an airplane by using their music software? Is that even possible? I can’t imagine it is, but hey, if they feel that it’s necessary to put that stuff in a software usage agreement, well then so do we. Needless to say, when we think about it, we get pretty creeped out.

If your cat or pet gerbil walks across the keyboard while you aren’t looking and ends up buying some music that you detest and/or are embarrassed to own, it isn’t our problem. It also isn’t our problem if you get totally piss-drunk and go on a shopping rampage purchasing a complete collection of the worst songs ever recorded. Don’t come crying to us in the morning while you are nursing your hangover and try to erase the last twelve hours of your life. Also, we can’t do anything about the total stranger wearing a superhero costume, slathered in cool whip and who is passed out on your bed either. It’s NOP - not our problem.

...

Go read the whole article, there's more stuff in there.

If you're really worried about your cat buying extremely distasteful music, fear not—there's PawSense, the software that cat proof's your computer. Hmmm, I wonder if it will detect little kids too!
(Thanks to Jessica Lyons at MetroActive for that one.)

 
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You may not want to write in Lisp, but his advise on software, life and business is always worth listening to.
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The second best villain of all times.

Feb '04
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New Jets create excitement in the air.
The audience is not listening.

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Neat chemicals you don't want to mess with.
The Lack of Practise Effect

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Scramjets take to the air
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The Real Way to get a job

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Checking out cool tools (with the kids)
A master geek (Ink Tank flashback)
How to play with your kids

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